Post-Christmas with Televised Nonsense

I’m sitting in a love sac, sipping a 50/50 blend of cranberry and orange juice (try it—you will be converted) while the TV drones on. It’s a showcase of Southern Californian groups all singing creative renditions of Christmas songs that PBS shoved behind the more, uh, palatable Austin City Limits. So far we’ve had mariachi bands, bell choirs, an all-Asian choir whose director looks like Señor Chang, and now the most interpretive of them all. Currently, some group is doing a break-dance rendition of A Christmas Carol, including Tiny Tim spinning on his head while Jacob Marley and Scrooge krump around him. Yes, this is the kind of tribute Southern California gives to Christmas which just goes to show that Compton has no idea what Christmas is all about. Or Dickens’ books.

This just feels like an entirely appropriate way to wind down after the holidays and get ready to close out the year right. After all, things got pretty crazy toward the end. I’ve been going through the interview process with Apple which, while fun, is a bit mentally taxing. After an interview with a rep at a career fair, then a very long interview with a project manager, whose name I couldn’t even pronounce, at Apple in Cupertino, I think my brain had exhausted its ability to reason soundly. I say this because, among other things, I decided to grow a mustache. This wasn’t a total disaster (like my 2008 debacle) as nobody told me I looked like an ice cream truck driver. Someone did, however, tell me I looked like a bomber pilot. Conclusion: success.

The fun was short lived, as I needed to shave it off to cut weight for all the walking I would be doing while Christmas shopping. I hate shopping. The Catholic Church used to pop their opponents’ fingernails out with a wooden chip for punishment. . .I think I’d prefer that. Hey, you try shopping for my mother! I would like to give effusive thanks for a successful trip to my friend Erica, and the driving mix my brother stuck in my car stereo. We easily found stuff for everyone in the fam and had a pretty good time. In all the fun, I almost had an out-of-body experience in Bath and Body Works. I generally have a terrible sense of smell, but I’m apparently like a wolf in that store, picking up the scent of coconut lime verbena, sweet cinnamon pumpkin, cool citrus basil… What is this place?? After the mall I even went 4^th grade and made my mom a Christmas card, but being rushed in adding the finishing touches, I forgot a letter. So, next to the cute illustration it read “Feli Navidad.” And just like that, my card went from being cute to embarrassing (to explain the goat, my mom wanted someone to buy a Peruvian family a goat for her Christmas gift).

Christmas was fantastic! Far from a white Christmas, it was green and warm enough to play in t-shirts in the back yard. Uncle Robert and Aunt Hyun-suk came from Korea, bringing a camera crew in tow. Uncle Rob is a television celebrity in Korea and wanted me to give a Christmas message to all the Thais in Korea. According to his producer, it should air on Korean national television sometime mid-January on their version of “Good Morning America.” I’ve always laughed at those guys wearing the “I’m big in Japan” t-shirts, but on second thought, maybe they really are.